As an evangelical fundamentalist christian, I gained exposure to all sorts of ways to approach a text. One of my favorites is the school of "Let the Bible fall open, point, and see what the Lord has to tell you."
So, I dug my trusty New American Standard Bible out of storage and scraped off 6 years of dust and mildew to see if this little game still works.
Behold the Word of the Lord: Luke Chapter 20, verse 1.
"And it came about on one of the days while He was teaching the people in the temple and preaching the gospel, that the chief priests and the scribes with the elders confronted Him, IN BED WITH A GOAT!!!
You may ask, and rightly so, what was Jesus doing in the temple... IN BED WITH A GOAT? It makes sense that he was confronted on the matter. Do you think the people who he was preaching and teaching to were appreciative of the distraction? Think of it: Jesus is distracting enough, but when you've got him preaching from a bed --with a goat by his side-- I can't imagine anyone was able to remember a word he said. I hope the chief priests and scribes cleared it right up.
What a magical text!
This is an invitation for all of you with good epilogues to fortune cookies to send them my way. With your permission, I will put them to good use.
By the way, is there any other spiritual text that this works with... other than anything written by Leonard Cohen or James Joyce?
And remember, boys and girls: JESUS ROCKS!