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Sunday, August 24, 2008

"Rock-Me-Sexy-Jesus" ala Hamlet 2: or Taking One for the Team: PART 1

Hamlet 2 :Satire can be either a demeaning tickle torture or it can be cathartic, group therapy for an entire nation.

Where does Hamlet 2 fall on this scale?

Good question.

All reviews should say: "Take it or leave it. It’s up to you."

I took it because satire is good for the soul, even if done desperately.

The insta-hit, “Rock Me Sexy Jesus,” was the reason I went to the movie. I was more in the mood for warmed-over Woody Allen. I took one for the team today…. suffering for my art.

No thespian satire would be complete without a "fresh" take on Jesus. I liked it when Jesus grabbed his crotch. I liked it when Jesus flung his hair back with the back of his hand. I liked it when Jesus forgave his father... the one "gotcha" moment in the movie for me: Don’t we All need to forgive our fathers?

Yeah, sure… but whatever.

Go see it for the “H.S. Musical”/”Dead Poet” references. Go see it for the “Kill Bill” Nurse Daryl Hannah and Tarantino references. Go for the “South Park” connection. And go to see Hollywood more or less play it safe with Sexy Jesus.

Or not.

It inspires me to rent “Jesus Christ Superstar” and “Godspell”... once the weather turns bad. Sexy Jesus is still the good guy, not exactly HOT ala Christian Bale circa 1999, and not exactly a porn star.

Hamlet 2's genre of Sexy Jesus blasphemy is as tame as it gets.
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Ironically, this blog is not in the business of reviews. Reviews are either total Bullshit, or I reserve the right to be totally annoyed by them.

Until now: Announcing my first "Review of the Reviews".

In the running for best and worst Hamlet 2 Reviews among the Twin Cities' Free Rags:

*The Onion (meh)
*vita.mn (RIP “The Pulse”: vita.mn has NOTHING!!! on you!)
*City Pages (the place where you’re guaranteed to find ruthless reviews and readers who love to bitch about their ruthless reviews)

So how-did-the-reviewers-review? Per usual, the vita.mn says nothing original or offensive to their mainstream-hipster readership with a way-too-generous 3 out of 4 stars. The Onion is the best written review, but gave the movie a B+, a case of satirists playing favorites with satirists, when a B- might be a better grade, imo. The City Pages is my favorite... because it is EXTREMELY ruthless... though a bit long-winded.

Out of 3 possible Porn-Star-Jesus-Stars, vita.mn gets 1/2 a Porn-Star-Jesus-Star, The Onion recieves 1 and a 1/2 Porn-Star-Jesus-Stars, and the City Pages review recieves 2 Porn-Star-Jesus-Stars.

None were written by a woman.

Yes... Jesus has been known to show up in pornography. Sweet dreams.

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