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Sunday, August 25, 2013

ARE YOU NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE BIRDS OF THE AIR??! : Katherine Kersten Interprets Sermon on the Mount as Originally Intended

Today Katherine Kersten, columnist for the Minneapolis Star Tribune, addressed something that weighs heavily on my heart: animal worship in America. 

(See Put people before dogs: 8/25/13 Star Tribune Opinion ; all Fat Cat in Famous Paintings can be found at Great Artist Mews.)

Kersten has been a champion for Jesus and the Constitution, a voice of reason in a country determined to plummet toward caring more about animals than it does about humans.  She points out a study that shows over 40% of respondents would choose to save a dog over the life of a foreigner.  Admittedly, Kersten sometimes forgets that a native-born dog probably deserves more rights than a foreigner, but we’ll let that oversight slip for now. The important thing is that she courageously exposes a country that creates graven images in the likeness of animals, which we then worship instead of our Lord or the Constitution.

Before I discuss the Biblical references I’d like to address the modern implications of “moral relativism” that point to a dangerous proclivity towards animal rights over human life.

1.  This week the Minnesota State Fair will hold the 2nd annual Internet Cat Video Film Festival. Last year I attended the 1st Festival… which was Free. Over 10,000 people attended. They expect even more for this year’s screening… which is NOT free. Cat worshipers are going to not only shell out $10 to get in the Internet Cat Video Film Festival gates but an additional $12 to get in the gates to the Minnesota State Fair… plus parking… plus $$ for pig on a stick, cow on a stick, fish on a stick, goat on a stick, chicken on stick and maybe deer on a stick.
Worship of the Golden Calf (er Cat) by Filippino Lippi
These people who gather for the cat festival and throw their gold at a fattened cat will eat everything but cat or dog on a stick. If people would heed Kersten’s concerns, maybe we wouldn’t be so biased about which animals are worthy of eating. God put ALL non-human life on the planet for our human consumption. And yet… 40+% of people out there would save a DOG instead of a foreigner. If Kersten and I get our way, Pug Pops will be on the State Fair menu next year. 

2.  The Sunday Funny Pages. Go ahead. Take a look! The most colorful and enticing part of a newspaper, though a pinko liberal rag, are the comics, more often than not featuring and glorifying ANIMALS! Hold on while I take a quick count of today's STrib commie comics:
  • 21.5 comic strips feature humans portrayed as doofuses; 
  • 8.5 comic strips feature talking, intelligent Animals. 
That’s a 28% portrayal of intelligent, witty animals who out-smart and out-funny 72% of humans portrayed! This figure shows that we are indeed free-falling toward caring more about what animals think about us than the lives of foreigners.
American Gothic by Grant Wood
(Aside: I still don’t understand why Kersten has a problem with this. As rabid Kersten fans, we Minnesotans all know that foreigners are tax-sucking terrorists hell-bent on ripping our Apple Pie Golden Retrievers out of our cold dead hands… not to mention what they plan to do with our hunting dogs.)

3.  Disney. Disney is filled to the gills with animal worshipers. Mickey Mouse seemed innocent enough back in the day of black and white… no relativism there. But then full-colored, Relativism-Bambi came along… and I have watched, slack-jawed, the blatant use of animals to push the liberal media agenda down the throats of children. Take a minute to watch PBS … the Muppets went from bad to worse, promoting the liberal schtick of amoral entertainers… and now we have dogs going to heaven and even bugs having a life. Good Grief!

4.  Gay marriage. Here’s the real problem scratching at our door. Kersten doesn’t quite have the guts to go there, so I will for her. As of August 1st, 2013, men can marry men and women can marry women in Minnesota. Need I spell it out for you?
The Unequal Marriage by Vasili Pukirev
This animal worship, this willingness to shower dogs with affection is one small drool-covered step away from People marrying Animals! I understand that Katherine has to be careful… she can only go so far in the STrib, but I can say whatever the Spirit leads me to say on this blog. Here goes: Gay marriage today. Bestiality tomorrow. Just you wait and see! (Even so, come Lord Jesus!)

Now for scriptural references. 

The Tower of Babel by Pieter Bruegel the Elder
A.  God had Adam/Man name the animals. Naming something is one way of signifying ownership. Sure, the Garden of Eden was a non-carnivorous environment, but Sin came along thanks to Eve/Women and a Snake… so according to God’s commands, we now have to kill animals to clothe and feed ourselves. We women royally messed things up, and now we have the gall to treat our pets as companions instead of food and clothing sources. We may even go so far as to serenade our animals with ballads such as “Heaven Is a Place On Earth.” Sick!

B.  In ancient Egypt cats were treated with more kindness than foreigners! Egyptians worshiped cats and made God’s chosen people and other foreign slaves sweat in the sun and even die so cats could hang out in the shade. This mirrors the study referenced in Kersten’s article… so maybe this is a sign… a sign that it’s time we follow Kersten into the wilderness. This time we’ll be smart enough to NOT worship a golden calf... or cat.

C.  Bestiality. People who sleep with animals need to be stoned. Sure… you think it’s okay to let your dog or cat to sleep at your feet or on your lap but we should nip this bestiality thing in the bud and just execute all those who take cat naps. (Leviticus 20:15-16)

D.  I’m going to jump way ahead to the New Testament. Remember when in Acts 10, Peter had the vision of all animals being fit for human consumption, including pigs and other cloven hooved animals? It’s likely that these animals lived lives of leisure before this… but now we know that pork is the other white meat. Keep an eye out for someone like Kersten offering their vision of cat and dog consumption being part of God’s plan… a departure that will set us apart from those non-believers and Constitution-haters among us.
Still Life by Adriaen van Utrecht
Serious FootNote: My family, though the opposite of vegetarian, were just hippy enough to strongly believe in the ethical (and ultimately biblical) treatment of animals… and cruelty toward animals as a sign of potential psychopathic behavior. As Good Stewards of the Earth, we often raised our own grass-fed meat of all varieties, hunted ethically, and were taught to never pet a cat the wrong way. Animals were indeed worshiped in our household… and lifesavers. Some of the animals we raised outside of domesticated cats, dogs, sheep, pigs, goats, ducks, geese, and cows included wood ducks, squirrels, starlings, robins, etc., etc., and the love of my life: a raccoon. To this day I have to stop myself from wandering through the park after a storm and adopting fallen baby birds.

All satire aside… as both an ex-ethical-treatment-of-animals Christian and as a back-slidden vegetarian heathen… I’d tell Kersten to go to hell if I didn’t think she is already living in a self-inflicted hell. Since Kersten has been one of the most vocal people against foreigners in Minnesota… or non “Judeo-Christian” foreigners… I’m convinced the 40+% of people who responded that they would rather save the life of a dog over the life of a foreigner are people who heed the foaming-at-the-mouth words of Katherine Kersten.
Declaration of Independence by John Trumbull

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